The Conundrum of Change
The Conundrum of Change
After spending 10 years working with clients in the field of addiction, I’ve seen many reoccurring themes. The most obvious being the three pillars of addiction, trauma, mental health and exposure to substance abuse. I’ll touch on each of these later (stay tuned). The other reoccurring theme I’ve encountered is the conundrum of choice. There are two stances’ people tend to take: addiction is a choice, and addiction is out of our control. The latter falls into the idea that we are powerless and need to seek guidance from a higher power. There is a subset of people for whom this thought process works. They find themselves in 12 step meetings and “working the steps.” The other group tends to believe that willpower is the answer. I encounter this ideology in both clients, family members, and members of the community with no ties to anyone who is struggling with substance abuse. Is there a grey area in between, of course. What good conundrum is black and white.
How do you manage the conundrum of choice? It depends on what matters to you. What are your values. Where do you find comfort and support? Do you believe that handing over your struggles to a higher power is your path? Or do you believe that you have the ability to exercise free will to make decisions. Regardless of your belief systems, change starts with an understanding of what is important to you, what you want out of life, and how you plan to get there.
My journey started with my Why. My Why is the reason I decided to make changes. These reasons are different for everyone. I had to ask the tough question, was my behavior aligned with my values and goals. My Why was born out of the many moments of realizing my values and goals were not aligned with my behaviors. Moving away from excuses, normalcies, and expectations carved the new path I choose to wander down. I didn’t know where I was going or what it was going to look like when I got there. But I knew, deep inside my heart and soul, that I could not go back to the patterns of thinking and behavior that no longer supported my new journey.
The Sober Project Guide for Mindful Drinking and Alcohol-Free Living is the culmination of my personal experiences, education, and professional work. It pulls from my work as a counselor, interactions with clients, and what works for me personally. It is your guide for exploring your relationship with alcohol and discovering your Why. Darkness exists because of the possibility of light. If you are here now, reading this, guided to the Sober Project, let this guide be the light you need in the darkness. Through self-reflection you may find that you need additional support. Support may take the form of mental health therapy, addiction counseling, support groups, or sharing your feelings with someone you trust. Every moment is an opportunity for change, this moment might just be yours.
Thank you for coming on this journey with me.
With gratitude,
Ashley Cohen
Founder of The Sober Project